The GIR Files
by The Somewhat Evil
Summary: A revolt changes Zim and Dib's lives forever. (I am in the process of moving and starting a new job. I have most of the next chapter written, but limited internet access....)*yaoi and slash warnings*(All characters belong to Jhonen Vasquez, not me :( )
1. I wanna TACOOOOOOO!

What Have I Been Missing All These Years????!!!!  
  
The pale 19-year-old glared through his medium length jet-black hair and over his thick black framed glasses. First he glared at his tall roommate. Then He glared at the dark digital dashes that made the 6:30 AM on his wristwatch, then back to his roommate. He stood up, kicking his feet into a pair of furry brown slippers with black plastic claws in the front. His too long black pajamas with a gothic purple skull and crossbones motif tripped him before he reached the door. Catching himself on against the wall he mumbled something about unnatural circadian rhythms and stomped down the hall toward the bathroom. His pale roommate stared after him with squinted emerald green eyes. The tall male left standing alone in the room made a "humph" noise as he flexed his fists against his hips. He would have looked a superhero posing if it hadn't been for the malice in his expression. He remained standing like that until his honey eyed roommate returned, slamming the door and knocking raven locks across the pale slightly green tinged forehead of the taller boy.   
"6:30 in the morning, Zim, SIX FUCKING THIRTY!!!!" He screeched.  
Glancing at his watch Zim agreed, "Quite so. Now, we must be off!!!!"   
Zim turned and marched out the door. After a few moments he returned. "DIB!!!!," he shouted at the teenaged Goth, who had fallen asleep standing up.   
"GAHHHH!!!!"  
"Dress now, puney earth born worm, for, I, the Almighty Zim, must not be late to clASS!!!!" Zim emphasized his point both with the sound of his voice and a raised finger.  
"Uuuuhhhhnnnngggg...." was the distressed reply as Dib slowly pulled black and dark purple clothes from his closet and began to dress....  
*********************************************************************************************  
A still groggy Dib followed his tall roommate to the on campus coffee shop in the University Center, or UC as the students tended to call it. Zim paid for the usual breakfast that the teens shared as Dib sat at their usual table.  
"What's so important about today's class that we have to get there an hour early, huh, Zim????"  
"Nothing," Zim said around a mouthful of blueberry bagel, he loved blueberry bagels....  
"Zim, I didn't come here to watch you eating bagels for an hour."  
"Do you want to here my idea or not????" Zim queried the drowsy Dib.  
Dib immediately perked up. Zim's ideas were usually pretty lame, but they were always fun. At least they were since he stopped trying to take over the world a couple years back....  
"What idea," Dib visibly perked up at the thought of the pair's past exploits.  
Zim smiled slyly and chewed on his bagel, forcing Dib to wait even longer. He loved to watch the play of emotion on the human's face when he was made to wait. Dib had grown impatient over the years they had known one another. As Zim slowly sipped his orange juice until Dib had had enough.   
"ZIM!" he shouted cause everyone else to star at the two for a few seconds.  
Zim giggled a bit at the slight blush across Dib's cheeks. "Well, Dib-human, I thought it would be enjoyable for us to visit this...carnival...thing...that is occurring at the park tomorrow."  
Dib stared for a moment. "YOU WOKE ME UP AT 6:30 TO ASK ME TO GO TO THE CARNAVAL!!!!????" Dib turned bright red at all the people gawking at him and Zim, who seemed to have completely missed the implications of Dib's statement.  
"...Yes...????" Zim was torn between reactions, should he find Dib's shouting humorous or depressing.... Did he want to go or not????  
Dib sighed, unsure if he should be glad that Zim had missed the connotation or not. There were so many ways in which he still was so inhuman. Dib sighed again before saying "sure Zim, sounds like fun."  
Zim cheered at that. He had to admit that when the Tallest had been over thrown and the Invader program had been abandoned, he had been afraid at first. He had been afraid that he would be alone with only GIR for company on this desolate ball of dirt. He was thrilled that he had been wrong. Zim smiled that smile that always seemed to make Dib smile in return. 


	2. Best Friends Are Always Wrong

(All characters belong to Jhonen Vasquez, not me :( )  
*What Have I Been Missing All These Years: Chapter Two; Best Friends Are Always Wrong*  
  
Dib stood in front of the tall mirror in GIR's dorm room. He stared at himself. "I don't know about this Gaz..." he whimpered.  
"Shut up, stupid, you look great..." Dib's little sister barely glanced up from her GameSlave. Dib looked at himself in the mirror again. The outfit that his sister and that insane robot had put him in was ridiculous. He looked like a gothic hippie or something... He was in a long oversized black shirt, cutoff black jeans, black sandals, and had a wreath of purple flowers around his neck. The fact that they had used makeup to give him dark circles and a gray tint to his skin made him look dead.   
"Gaz, I look weird."  
"You always look weird, you freak."  
"This is such a bad idea..." Dib stood and pondered how he had gotten roped into doing this. He had planned on spending his Friday afternoon reading or having Zim teach him some more Irken, not staring in Gaz and GIR's rock video.  
Then that brought up the question of how exactly these two loonies got into college anyway... Oh yeah, they are friggin' geniuses... Well, they say there is a fine line between genius and insanity... That thought was cut off as a high pitched screech from down the hall called out "I made it myself!!!!"  
Dib suppressed the giggle that formed as he imagined Zim under GIR's ruthless administrations. Then he smiled. Zim was so much fun to hang out with. Dib was really glad that the Irken government had been taken over by some Irkens less apt to conquering the universe. Zim had been really depressed at first, but now he seemed to really enjoy life.   
Zim had even agreed to submit himself to the gene-splicing drug that Dib had invented for him. Professor Membrane had been more than thrilled to help Dib invent it, believing his son had developed an interest in "real" science, but Dib still secretly harbored a love of anything supernatural or paranormal.   
And the concoction had apparently been perfect. Zim was barely Irken at all anymore. The antennae were still there and the green tint to his skin... the color of his eyes and his odd thinness would always be there. Dib had been able to give him height, the right amount of fingers, immunity to water, the ability to eat earth foods (which seemed Zim's favorite effect of the splicing), and given him mostly human organs.   
That part made Dib blush as he remembered Zim's first experience with his new body parts. Dib had stayed over at Zim's house/base every night for a week to observe how the drug effected Zim. When he heard Zim scream from the bedroom he was terrified that something had gone horribly wrong. But it hadn't, it was just, well... Zim had quickly adjusted to this new feature, finding it merely "annoying."  
Soon Dib was drug from his reverie by the sound of the door slamming open and GIR shouting "meh master looks so PURDY!!!!" Dib turned in time to see a blushing Zim enter the room in a gothic wedding dress of black lace!!!! Dib gaped at the reveling garment that GIR had apparent designed.   
"Dib!!!! You're gonna ruin your makeup!!!!" Dib stared at Gaz, confused. She pointed at the mirror, Dib turning to look. He stared uncomprehending at the thin red line running down his lip from his nose.  
*************************************************************  
Hours later, after the "shoot," Zim and Dib sat in their room, each starring at their respective computers. Neither daring to mention the events of the afternoon, barely able to tolerate knowing the other was in the room.   
Zim had been being his usual non-cooperative self when Dib had interjected. "Now, Zim, dear, you'll never find a suitable man to marry if you act like that all the time," he had said in jest. "WELL NEITHER WILL YOU," Zim had retorted. Dib had sighed... "Zim, we need to talk about that. You don't seem to understand that, on earth, there are guys and there are girls..." Dib had been unsure about how to explain this, "guys aren't normally anything more than friends with other guys and girls with other girls..." he paused, thinking.   
"Well that is silly."  
Zim's response had startled and disturbed Dib. "Why????"  
"Well on Irk it was perfectly natural for 'male' Irkens to mate with 'male' Irkens."  
"Really" Dib was stunned "you never told me that before."  
"Of course 'really', and I would have told you if you had asked."  
This new aspect of Irken culture had Dib distracted until Gaz had directed him to stand in front of Zim. Dib and Zim were still uncomfortable being very close physically, they were enemies at one time. They had stood a few feet apart facing each other until GIR had pushed Zim shouting "huggles!"  
Zim had landed squarely in Dib's arms, faces millimeters apart. They had both turned crimson and shoved each other away. They hadn't spoken two words to one another since. 


	3. Die Hard With A Floaty Ghosty Shoe Thing...

*Invader Zim and all related characters are copyright Jhonen Vasquez, the following will contain references to events in the pasts of the characters that were not seen in the show, these are not my random musings, they came from here: http:// www .tvtome.com /invaderzim /guide .html , as to the factuality of this guide, I cannot comment, but it sounds cool..and stuff..*  
  
Sweat beaded on the pale skin of the tall ex-Irken. A range of expressions crossed his sleeping face. His dreams were dark this night. Suddenly he awoke with a jerk, sitting up in his bed. As the dampened sheets fell to his slender waist he shook the remnants of the nightmare from his mind..Why now???? Why, just when I thought we could get closer.???? He asked himself questions that had prayed on his mind for years, Why does this all come back just when I WANTED to be closer to him, he's my FRIEND, isn't he???? Zim, former Invader of the Irken Army, was not going to sleep again tonight. Dib had lain in his bed and watched his part alien companion toss and turn in the throes of unpleasant REM sleep. He was curious to know what was going on inside the other boy's mind, but he dared not ask Zim outright. The last time he had queried about Zim's dreams Zim had gotten angry saying it was none of his business and hadn't talked to him for days.. Dib was worried about his friend, but he didn't want to offend him..  
  
"Zim," he whispered, "you awake????"/////////// "Yes." Came the curt reply.///////////"You wanna talk or watch a movie or something, I can't sleep..????" /////////// "Sure.."////////////".."///////////// ".."///////////////////////"Well????" "Well what????"//////////////////////////// "Well, whacha wanna do????"////////////////////// As an answer Zim turned on the television./////////////////////////// Dib sat back in his bed to watch the news program that just happened to be on the channel that was on.. After a few moments of listening to the monotone announcer describing some minor disaster involving an escaped monkey and a nuclear power plant he glanced at Zim. The tall boy was staring at the remote, his eyes unfocused. "Zim????"////////////// ".."/////////////////// "Zim!!!!"/////////////////// ".."/////////////////////////// "ZIM!!!!"////////////////////////// ".. What, huh????"///////////////////////// "This is boring, let's watch something else."///////////////////////////// "LIKE WHAT????!!!!"//////////////////////////// "Jeez," Dib turned his eyes to his lap, not wanting Zim to see how bad he had just hurt Dib.////////////////////////////// ".." The channel changed to Mysterious Mysteries suddenly. Dib immediately perked up./////////////////////////// "Wow.. How did you know this was on..????" "Some times I have trouble sleeping.." "Well.. I heard that talking about stuff sometimes helps you sleep better.." Dib carefully tried to pry more info from the distraught male. "Well.. That is crazy Earth logic for ya.." Dib sighed.. He wasn't getting any info or sleep..  
  
**************************** Zim was worried. Very worried. He hated the dream.. The memory.. Dib was only trying to save his world and others like it.. The whole event was a huge mistake.. It was about six years ago now, had it really been that long.? It was my fault anyway. The whole bloody episode. if only I hadn't gone with Skoodge to Meekrob.No. I don't think that would have changed things much. I'd have gone anyway, eventually. The war. The other species. I would have thought myself invaluable. But then Dib showed up. He always showed up. I still can't believe he made that ship, and got it to fly all the way to Meekrob without blowing himself to bits. but I'm glad he managed. I was glad even then, though I didn't show it, in fact I acted angry that he was there. I guess I didn't want them to think I was weak. But I was weak, very weak, so weak I didn't even realize that I wasn't wanted or needed. In fact all I managed to do in the end was screw everything up and get shot into a meteor. that was the most terrifying moment of my whole life. All that went through my head was "I'll never see him again." To think. An Invader. So fond of a human. But he saved me so many times. And he's so smart. I guess they talked him into helping, maybe he was caught up in the moment and didn't realize what he was doing to me. To me. Me. Dose he even know that he's so amazing. So smart, funny, and. and. oh no. No. No, this can't be right. I. do I really. the man shot me into outer space!!!! HE TRIED TO KILL ME!!!  
  
Dib noticed Zim staring at the wall with an expression of utter horror on his face. Shocked Dib went over to Zim's bedside. "Zim????" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
*If you went to the web site at the top, is shwae, huh???? If not, then the Zim thinking will make much more sense if you do.. And if you read the to untitleds at the bottom.. * *Thanks for the reviews* 


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